A blog for 21st century women in a 19th century role!


1. I swear ... A LOT! I don't intend to offend people, but it happens.

2. my spelling and grammar and capitalization are horrible. i don't have time for spell check and the "shift" key.

3. I am an open person. A VERY open person. So, I may... from time to time... mention my sex life, or my time spent in the bathroom, or other un-savory things that you might not want to hear about. BE WARNED! I say what i say and you may chose to read it or not to... either way, i'mma write it.


I've been a working Mom, and I've been a stay-at-home Mom...... and working is easier! I've been a stay-at-home Mom for nearly 4 years and I am only NOW learning.... I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG! Each day, (well, most days anyway) I'll be attempting some mundane "housewife" duty that I'm not used to or has changed or that I've only just realized I've been doing wrong. I hope to entertain at least a few people and maybe help someone else who is going through what i'm going through....

Thursday, September 5, 2013

are those snowflakes in your hair? .....

first let me say that I am getting tired so it may not be the best time to blog.  I tend to ramble in general.... it gets worse when i'm tired.  consider yourself warned!

second, sorry I've been gone for so long.  housewifing keeps me busier than normal these days!

lastly, before I begin to begin again, let me say that this entry is embarrassing, true, and hey - this shit happens..

     It was Christmas morning.  glorious in all its splendor!  santa had visited Grandad's house in Morocco, Indiana and we were all very busy opening presents and taking pictures.

I noticed that the girls kept stopping in the middle of opening to scratch their heads..... uh-oh!!!

after checking their heads it was plain to see.... they had head lice.

ok.  breathe.  it will be ok.  this shit happens, right?  but on CHRISTMAS?  REALLY?  I felt terrible.  why?  I don't know.  it's not like I ordered the little buggers online and sprinkled them in my kids' hair.  but I somehow felt like I had ruined their Christmas.  we loaded up the van earlier than normal and headed home stopping at a CVS to buy them out of any and all lice-killing products.  (God bless CVS for being open on Christmas Day!)  that was by far the grossest I have ever felt in my life driving home that day.  I searched the internet via my iPhone for anything I could find on the subject.
can my dogs get lice?
how often to treat?
how to kill them in car upholstery?
can they live in the carpet?
are there support groups?  cuz I feel like this will ruin our lives!!!

upon arriving home I immediately treat the girls and have to break the news to them that even their brand new toys had to be bagged up for awhile or get washed immediately!  again... I blamed myself, and so did they.  boy was i a mean old woman that day!  after soaking their heads in the "stinky stuff" that they swear burned,  there was the rinsing and then.... then the dreaded comb! 
then all the laundry!  while i de-loused the girls blane sprayed all furniture, stripped all beds, and sprinkled the carpet with borax and baking soda for me.  jeez. 

if you thought "Merry Christmas, the shitter is full" is the worst you could hear on Christmas morning.... imagine, "Merry Christmas, we have lice!"

so after all of this the kids are finally content because i have researched and found out that their brand new iPods will probably not harbor lice to re-infest them.  they are in iHeaven. (a place iVisit often!)

now ME.  i do my best to soak my head, try to get blane's help.  and God love him, he insists that i do his head too.... his shaved head.  but i do.  now the hard part about this is combing my own very thick hair.  i do my best.  i do laundry.  life moved on.  two days later the kids are itch free and im still scratching.  i'm changing beds daily.  i bought new pillows.  still itchy.  the box says not to treat my hair again for a week or 5 days or something like that.  so i start looking up home remedies.  one web page suggests rubbing fresh garlic on your scalp, or saturating your hair with mayo and leaving it for a few hours, or using an onion in someway.  let me emphasize the OR. 

i keep no fresh garlic and i despise onions with my entire being.  but i do have mayo..... and garlic powder.... and minced, dehydrated onion (why?  i don't know.)  so what does Mary do?  mixes all three together into a very wet paste and saturate my head.  OH YES I DID.  i wrapped a Kroger bag around my head and carried on with my day.  my family wouldn't get near me.  i don't blame them.  i smelled very VERY strongly of onion and garlic.  i left it there for somewhere around 6 hours.  OH YES I DID.

i get in the shower and rinse it out - no easy task - i then wash my hair with the smell-goodiest shampoo i have.  i ran out of hot water.  (the washer was still running on HOT almost around the clock)  i got out of the shower.  my hair still stunk.  how blane or i slept that night i don't know.  it was awful.  the next day my new pillow went in the trash and i got back in the shower.  washed my hair at least 10 times.  still stinky.  slightly less tho.  i now smelled more like an Italian sandwich or salad.  which made me hungry.  i let my hair dry entirely and poured baking soda all over my head.  baking soda gets out odors, right?  it sure does!  pour baking soda on my head!  great idea!  wash it out.  still stinks. 

the next day i decide i didn't leave the baking soda in long enough to really work.  open a new box of baking soda and re-apply.  go about my day.  look in the mirror and imagine that i will look ok with gray hair.  the girls are looking at me like im a freak, and lets face it... i am.  i left powder marks every where! rise it out after a few hours and guess what?  did no good.  and my head still itches.

SERIOUSLY?  so i look online again.  another page says that the acid in lemon juice will kill lice and coconut oil can suffocate them.  once again.... i combine the remedies.  this time im thinking I've got them and the stink licked!  coconut and citrus?  that is what most shampoo smells like anyway.  i saturate my head, apply a new Kroger bag and shower cap, sleep in that overnight.  OH YES I DID.
Get up the next day, shower.  once again, takes forever to finally get all the oil out of my hair AND....
my head still smells like a sandwich.

that was in December2012.  after about a week my hair quit stinking.... except in the shower.  every time my hair got wet it still smelled like garlic and onion. FOR 6 MONTHS!  oh, yes it did! 

the moral of this story is, never, NEVER NEVER EVER - put food in your hair.  seriously.  i had enough food in my hair for a recipe.  excuse me, waiter?  there's food in my hair.  yuk.  what was i thinking?

and - ALWAYS check your kids for head lice before they open their Christmas presents!

now, we have tangle spray that is a lice preventative.  my kids heads smell slightly of citronella most days.  it's a fair trade in my opinion.... and theirs too. 

coming soon - my life in pajamas, and the big move!

thanks for reading!

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